|
MEDIA CONTACTS For any media person interested in receiving a copy of this book, please contact: Connie Carlson Hazelden Publishing ccarlson@hazelden.org or Kim Weiss HCI, Inc. kimw@hcibooks.com Publisher Info: Hazelden Publishing Available in bookstores or to order directly from the distributor, please contact: HCI Books (800) 441-5569 or www.hcibooks.com |
The biography of Lois Burnham Wilson was long overdue for many reasons...perhaps the most important being that without her, there not only wouldn't be Al-Anon, but neither would there be the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was Lois's deep love for her husband and her unwavering belief in commitment that kept Bill alive and, in his recovery, form a worldwide organization and program that has saved the lives of millions and restored their families.
Here are some important questions author Bill Borchert delves into concerning this important book:
Q. Who is the intended audience for this book?
A. More than 150,000,000 Americans effected directly or indirectly by the disease of alcoholism and drug addiction. This figure is derived from arduous scientific research that shows every alcoholic's behavior effects at least five others in his or her circle of family members, relatives and associates. The author hopes that Lois Wilson's message of hope and recovery will reach those millions of confused and despairing spouses of alcoholic, their children, relatives, friends and business associates, all of whom have been effected by this growing and damaging malady. This book was also written for the alcoholics and drug addicts who, after sobering up, might find even greater strength and conviction by knowing how their addiction effected their spouses, families and loved one. The fellowship that Lois Wilson co-founded, Al-Anon Family Groups, offers these suffers not only a solution but a wonderful new way of life that brings with it true joy and happiness.
Q. What will readers learn from this book?
A. Lois Wilson, like her husband Bill, came to recognize that everyone effected by alcoholism and alcoholic behavior must seek and find a dramatic change in their lives if they are to get well and stay well. AA's co-founders, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith wrote a "Twelve Steps To Recovery" program which has and continues to help millions of alcoholics around the world find sobriety, Lois adapted these same twelve steps for families when she launched Al-Anon. Since then, more than 300 other recovery groups have sprung up using these twelve steps to help people find solutions to everything from narcotics addition to smoking, from sexual addictions to eating disorders, and from parents losing a child to the effects of cancer on families. This book explores how these twelve steps came about and particularly, through Lois Wilson's own painful experiences, how they apply to suffering spouses and their families.
Q. What attracted a well -bred, well - educated and lovely young woman to a tall, lean, handsome country bumpkin who came from a family if heavy-drinking quarrymen?
A. As Lois herself explained: "Bill Wilson was the most unique man I'd ever seen. He was always intriguing, talking about things that were different, sometimes quite surprising, I could see things in him that he didn't see in himself and I just knew that someday he would accomplish great things. I don't know what it is that draws two people together, but I just got crazier about him, "And she continued to love him and nurture him even as his drinking increased. She believed that her deep love and caring would help conquer his addiction and that if only he would stop drinking, he would have the world at his feet. But in the end, she came to realize that her love was not enough--not to overcome the disease of alcoholism which neither knew was his problem.
Q. Why did Lois Wilson stay with her husband through all the pain, disappointments, shame humiliation and despair when today many women would just up and leave?
A. Things were quite different more than a generation ago when the word commitment meant something especially to someone like Lois who was raised by strongly principled and religious parents like Clark and Matilda Burnham. It was also a time when people took their wedding vows seriously such as "in sickness and in health until death do us part." Lois Wilson always believed that commitments and wedding vows should be taken seriously in every generation and talked about this all over the world. But there was another reason why Lois stayed with Bill, a reason she kept hidden deep down within herself. She had two miscarriages and a hysterectomy. She could never have children which pained her greatly. She couldn't give bill the family she always thought wanted. She felt guilty. That's why Lois always wondered if this was the one big reason why her husband drank so much. So she continued to blame herself for his drinking until she finally learned the truth--that alcoholics will use any excuse to drink.
Q. Why does everyone in Al-Anon practice "anonymity" as they do in Alcoholics Alcoholism?
A. Even today, the disease of alcoholism is widely misunderstood. In fact, many people still do not regard alcoholism as a disease even though the American Medical Association officially declared it as such in 1952. Many still consider alcoholics and drug addicts weak-willed, immoral, dysfunctional and bordering on insane, so the principle of anonymity protects families from public scrutiny. But it also does another important thing. It helps everyone in Al-Anon-rich and poor minority. Young and old-identify and share their experiences on an equal footing, eyeball to eyeball, with love and respect regardless of their backgrounds and where they came from.
Q. Did Lois ever get angry at her husband over his drinking and what did she do about it?
A. As her husband's drinking increased, Lois would frequently lose her temper when he would embarrass her at parties or at home in front of friends and family. Then when he would stagger into the house in the early morning hours reeking of cheap booze and falling on the floor, she would sometimes kneel beside him slapping and beating on him as she shouted, weeping hysterically. As she said: "I got mad at him, terribly mad. I'd shout all kinds of things at him, but it really didn't make a difference. That talk is wasted on a drunk. Your just wasting your energy doing it/ In the morning he'd be so sorry and repentant. He wanted me to help him stop his drinking. You couldn't be mad at him then. You just had to forgive him."
Q. How did Lois Wilson discover that she too had been affected by alcoholism and needed help herself?
A. Lois always believed that if only her husband would stop drinking, everything would be fine and she would be perfectly happy. Well, Bill Wilson finally found sobriety in 1935 and began building the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Lois wanted and expected his love and caring, his time and attention for all she had given him and put up with over the years After a While she felt all her needs weren't being satisfied. She felt she was owed and wanted more. She became angry and restful. Then one day in the middle of a heated conversation, Lois threw a shoe at her husband. This incident shocked her. Here Bill was sober and happy and here she was the angry and frustrated. She was forced to take a good look at herself. She also began to talk with other spouses similarly affected like her dear friend Annie in Akron, Ohio, the wife of AA co-founder, Dr. Bob Smith. During AA meeting nights at her home, she began inviting the wives of alcoholics attending these into her kitchen for tea and cake and sharing of their own feelings and emotions. Over the course of time, this led Lois to found Al-Anan with the help of her good friend Ann Bingham, one of the first members of Lois's kitchen group."
Q. How big is Al-Anon today and where is it located?
A. There are Al-Anon Family groups in practically every town and city across America and in 130 countries around the world. Today's membership is estimated to be close to one million. Al-Anon World Service head quarters is located in Virginia Beach, VA and can be reached for further information by calling: 757-563 1600.
Q. While Lois felt guilty for not being able to have children and thought it was one reason why Bill drank, how did she feel about this in her later years?
A. Here is how Lois explained it in her own words: "Since AA and Al-Anon have developed so wonderfully, I thought that if I had children, neither of us would have been able to pay as much attention to these fellowships as we have. If we had children, Bill would have had to work. AA wouldn't have gotten the start that it did in the beginning because of all the time he had to give it. He couldn't have looked after his drunks the way he did and I wouldn't have had the time to travel to help organize Al-Anon. Looking back, I can see that it was all God's will the way things turned out."
Q. Where did Lois and Bill Wilson live and is their home still there?
A. In 1939, Lois lost her home at Clinton Street, Brooklyn where she had been born and where she had lived with her husband during his battle with alcoholism and then finally his recovery. Then, with no money, they lost the house. For almost two years they lived out of suit case's, moving fifty one times, living mainly with generous AA friends and in a room above old AA clubhouse on 24th Street in New York City. Finally in 1941, as the result of royalties he received from the book he wrote he called, "Alcoholics Anonymous," they moved into their home in Bedford Hills, New York in the heart of Westchester County, which Lois aptly named "Stepping Stones." This home is still maintained today by Stepping Stones Foundation, which she created. It has been designated as an official landmark site by the state of New York and is open to visitation by the public. For further information call: 914-232-4822.
Q. How long did Lois Wilson live, when did she die and where is she buried?
A. Lois lived to be 97 years old. She died on October 5, 1988. Newspapers across the country finally revealed the name of Al-Anon's co-founder. Thousands attended a memorial service at Marble Collegiate Church in New York City. She is buried next to her husband in the small family cemetery in East Dorsett, Vermont. The name Al-Anon does not appear on her headstone.
Q. Why is there so little known about Lois Wilson and her accomplishments when there is so much to know about her husband?
A. Bill Wilson died in 1971 at the age of 72. The world finally discovered who created the fellowship of Alcoholic Anonymous when the New York Times published his full name on it's front page since anonymity is not taken to the grave. Since Bill's death, five biographies have been written about his life and his exploits. Lois continued to guard her anonymity as a member of AL-Anon until the day she died in 1988. Since then there have no biographies written about her--until now.
Q. Why is Lois so open about herself and her problems in front of thousands?
A. Lois was actually a quite shy and humble lady. She was willing to share her life and her experiences with others to let them know there is a way out--that there is recovery through the Al-Anon program.